How involved in your writing life do you want your significant other to be?
I’m honestly curious because I can see this cutting both ways. On the one hand, you want your S.O. to be able to talk coherently with you about something that takes a colossal bite out of your day/month/year. On the other, writing is, at the end of the day, a pretty solitary affair, so it can be nice not to have your S.O. all up in your grill at least when it comes to your writing life. Especially if said S.O. thinks it might be a good idea for you to write a book with him in it. (Do boys not listen to Sara Bareilles or what? Just saying…)
Anyway, I’m thinking authors would rather their S.O.s operate at either end of the spectrum. Because honestly, if they are only going to halfway learn the publishing biz, then what you end up with is often some off-the-wall advice under the guise of semi-informedness, which can be way more headdesk-inducing than total obliviousness, yanno?
Ideally, I think we’d all like our S.O.s to read the entire Miss Snark archives start to finish. Even better if this results in their knowing the exact right thing to say in the face of deadlines, rejections, and total freakouts. So what say you? How much or little do you tell your S.O. about writing?
Plus side: My husband comes from a family of writers. His mom is a published poet who won a few poetry grants, plus she’s an English teacher. His brother went to grad school for creative writing.
Down side: He’s the only one in his fam that doesn’t write or read.
Plus side: He likes that I write. He has his own hobbies (mostly involving fantasy football, video games, movie-watching, and message boards) so he leaves me alone and let’s me do my thing, rarely interrupting.
Down side: He thinks that when I sell a book, it will mean he can quit his job because the advance will be so high. Hahahahaha.
Plus side: He’s sometimes good with brainstorming funny sentences with me if I’m stuck or I’ll run a joke by him and he’ll approve it or tell me to try again. He’s helped me find what I was trying to say a few times.
Down side: I’ve learned never to discuss plots with him. He doesn’t read, he especially doesn’t read YA, and he thinks every idea is stupid if it doesn’t sound like Chuck Palahniuk’s next book or David Fincher’s next movie.
So I guess I kind of have it both ways. It works for me. He leaves me alone to write but is helpful in small doses.
Shana, I love that your hubby can brainstorm sentences, etc. for you, but I’m totally with you on the plot brainstorming stuff. S.O.s seem to come up with the darndest things or shoot down things that just might work! So, does his family understand the whole publishing biz? Because that might be even better!
My family knows that I write. As for my wife, she knows that I write, but she doesn’t inquire as to what I write or write about. She feels that so long as I have something that keeps my occupied and that I enjoy doing it, its okay by her.
That cartoon is awesome!
As for any potential S.O.’s, I’d just like someone who is supportive and will cheer me on when things go well and cheer me up when things don’t.
My husband is actually pretty well-informed about what I write, but that’s because he asks. And he’s very good for plot brainstorming. But mostly he stays out of my way as I mainline coffee and mutter to myself. He seems to sense it’s safer that way.
My husband is uninformed about the publishing world, but he’s the number one person I talk to about my writing, be it plot issues or just struggles with the whole process. I would hate it if he wasn’t a part of it, but I don’t want him so involved that he steps over the line and offers uninformed advice.