Commitment Phobe

 

Truth be told, I’ve never had this problem before…(*ahem* at least with books anyway)…So it’s surprised me that I’m having such a problem committing to a new book idea. Usually the second I get within striking range of finishing a draft, I’m already distracted by whatever idea looks new and shiny and I’m totally ready to dive headfirst into it the second I can.

But this time…not so much. Instead, I’ve found myself rehashing the last draft of my book recently sent to my agent. I continue to tinker with it, wondering what I could do to make it better. It’s strange really since I was so gung ho about getting that thing off my plate. There are a couple simple reasons that might account for the change. For one, my agent is out of town for another two weeks, so I still have it in my head that I can play around with the book because I know nothing will happen with it until he gets back. It’s bonus editing time, I suppose. Secondly, I have my ghostwriting series that needs my attention, so it’s not as if I’m project-less at the moment. I also knew I wanted to take some time out to read as a reader, not a writer, before I did anything else writing-related.

That’s all true more or less, but I think the real problem is that this is my first time being “single” in a very long time. Writing a book and going through critique partner revisions and agent revisions and most recently now editor revisions is like being in an ultra serious, long-term, committed relationship. To stay committed, I had to limit my “window shopping” of other ideas as much as possible and do whatever I could to maintain that initial spark I had at the beginning of the relationship. It took a whole heap of time and energy to work through problems the book had (and I couldn’t just take the book out to a fancy dinner and pray that fixed things either). This book was demanding and high maintenance and while, yeah, things ended amicably, I guess maybe I’m not ready to settle down quite yet. I’m still in the stage where there are plenty of ideas that look promising but as long as I don’t choose only one, they all look like they have limitless potential and exactly zero flaws. So until I’m prepared to deal with another book’s baggage, I’m going to play the field and enjoy life pre-commitment. But of course, when the right idea comes along, we all know that all goes straight out the window…

 

 

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